PlaceComm shrieks: Habeous corpus

Juniors, B-school aspirants. Leave your brain, heart and soul at home, because Consults and I-banks don't want it. We only want your (18hours at a stretch desk work fit) bodies and your unquestioned devotion.

When you entered these hallowed portals you signed an implicit contract to be a product of this manager factory. Don't worry we will take good care of you and ensure you do no harm to the "brand value" of our six sigma assembly line.

We are gonna find out what customers are looking for in the market these days (for e.g. the latest marketbuzz tells us Consults want minds ozzing with arithmetic and finance fluids).

We will then set about putting some hardcoded matter inside your brains (our lab tests indicate this has a 99% match rate with the most successful answers that consultspeak demands). When asked who are thou: you must only utter/write this paragraph of 100 words (no more/no less), remember it is this guy who is wanted and you are only a figment of imagination.

We are gonna package you well. Just like any respectable product comes with a manual, you must at all times be accompanied with your CV, which would be carefully manufactured by us.

Your cv will boast of all the math questions you could solve since Nursery and how unique it was, and how you conceptualised, designed, organised and implented the solution to make an asteroidal business impact.

Now we will change you into a more evolved specie which suits the business interest of corporates (it is referred to as sheep by the lowly homo sapiens). You must ask intelligent questions when ordered to, attend communal sessions in full business attire.You must dress up in suits and don't forget to put that tie. For Girls, skirts are a must, the shorter the sweeter.

You must at all times be wary of wolfs in the skin of sheep (interpretation from XL glossary: IIMians) who are sheeper than you and are preferred products for these heavenly consults. You must surpass them in submission, obedience and donkeyedness, if you are to help XL gain more market share and goodwill.